Have you ever felt like life karate chopped you in the throat and finished it off with a kick to the gut? Whether it’s a flat tire making you miss an important meeting, a colleague treating you like crap, or a “blown way out of proportion” fight with someone who matters most, it sucks. These experiences often leave you feeling totally blindsided and wondering, “What the heck was that?!” These experiences can also lead to an overactive stress response and emotional eating. I had a recent interaction with a colleague that had me thinking and feeling all of these things. I will spare you the gory details, but I will say that I was following up on something that I genuinely believed needed my attention. I thought I was approaching the situation in a way that honored the personal and professional connection. Either I was totally wrong or this person was, but regardless, I got a verbal ass whooping, and it was terrible.
So, I licked my wounds, did some processing, found my lessons, and decided to write about it. I’m sure all of us have had some version of my recent experience, and unless you’re a sadist, I imagine it was terrible for you too. What really threw me off was that I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing, AND I did not see it coming at all! I think that when things like this happen, it is especially important to try and find the lesson; otherwise, it is so easy to get stuck in the muck.
- Talk it out. Talking things out allows for you to process your thoughts and feelings out loud, which can be profoundly beneficial. For example, I am so grateful for my Mom. She is supportive and provides a safe space for me to talk through things. Who is on your support team? Connect with your family, friend, colleague, or coach and talk it out.
- Make a decision. Decide what you need to do to not get stuck in the muck and move through the situation. There is growth on the other side. Make a conscious choice to learn, grow, and move on.
- Identify your lessons. This can be tough, but really ask yourself what you can take away from the scenario. There are always lessons to be learned. What could you do differently next time? Is this person mirroring back a part of you or shining light on a fear? What are your opportunities for growth?
- Take action. If there is any follow up needed, do it. Make sure that at the end of the day, this door is closed for you, and you have fully released all that comes with a verbal karate chop to the throat. Take a deep breath and give yourself permission to do what you have to do to dust yourself off, get back up, and keep on movin’.
Emily