Day 16. Have you ever considered the possibility that you are wrong about something? About anything? About everything?
This possibility has been on my mind a lot lately – not in a worried about it way, but more in a curious about it way.
The possibilities of things that any of us could be wrong about are endless. Yet so many of us are so sure that we’re right about most things, if not everything.
We hold our beliefs and values close to our hearts. They are what shape our perspective and guide our actions every single day. They determine our parenting style, what foods we eat, who we vote for, our spiritual practice, the judgements we make, who we hang with, our communication style, what music we listen to, and so so much more.
What we believe to be true guides us in every way. So it’s interesting to consider the possibility that what we believe could be wrong. It’s not unrealistic, right – we all do life a little differently which means that we all have varying beliefs and values. Who is to say which are right and which are wrong?
Yet we do say, all the time. We are constantly saying who is right and who is wrong. We see it in black and white – one way or the other. Judgments are flying fast and furious on parenting, religion, food, and politics – it’s hard to keep up.
The debates are fierce, personal and full of shaming. People are galloping around on their high horses so sure that they are 100% right. Maybe they are, but what if they’re not?
What if I’m wrong? What if you are? What if we all kind of are?
Here’s the thing, we could all benefit from being able to see a little bit more gray. And the only way to truly be able to consider the gray zone is to open up to the possibility that we are wrong.
It’s okay to be wrong. It’s really not that big of a deal. I’ve been wrong a lot. I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve learned hard lessons. One of the hardest was embracing the possibility of being wrong. I used to need to be right about everything. I would fight about anything just to prove that I was right, but it didn’t actually get me anywhere. It didn’t actually prove anything.
When we open up to the possibility that we are wrong, when we simply consider it, we open up a whole new world. We get to be curious, to explore all the options, to understand a perspective other than our own. In doing this, we get to find the gray.
The gray is amazing because this is where solutions lie. This is where compromise and growth happen. It doesn’t actually require us to change our beliefs or values but it does require us to consider the beliefs and values that others hold tightly to too. It makes it possible for us to consider our way in this world together.
I mean really, who cares if you’re right or wrong? That’s not actually all that meaningful. When we hold on tight to being right we end up arguing and fighting all the time. It blocks our ability to grow, to learn, and to adapt. It actually prevents us from being ourselves and living an amazing life.
Yes, know your values – stand for something. Believe in how you live your life, but when you catch yourself arguing or fighting about them just quietly wonder, “what if I’m wrong?” Then start asking questions, get curious. Learn, connect and then decide. Maybe you more firmly believe in what you believe, maybe you gain a little understanding – regardless you’ll feel totally free in just being you and doing your thing because being right – well, it just don’t matter all that much.
Emily xo