Last night we said goodbye to one of our greatest loves.
He lit up our world and loved us fiercely.
His love truly changed our lives.
He gave us years of comfort and companionship – we never felt alone.
Movies on the couch, walks in the park, afternoon naps, car rides – we shared everything from popcorn to pillows.
He was there through all the loss, pain and disappointment of our fertility journey. He stood guard during the cautious excitement and anticipation of our pregnancy – taking afternoon naps with me and laying his head gently on my round belly. And he was there for the joy and celebration of the birth of our baby boy.
He had been there for all the joy, all the pain and everything in between – instinctively knowing exactly what we needed and delivering, never asking for anything in return.
I swear he waited to make sure we were all okay…
Like scenes from a movie, memories of him keep playing through my mind.
There were days that he drove me absolutely banana grams. Like the time he…
- Wouldn’t come in the house. I sat in our yard in tears as he barked and ran circles around me.
- Jumped out the window at the mailman. He was so surprised with himself that he jumped right back in and hid the basement.
- Opened the fridge and ate an entire bowl of cookie dough. There was no mess. He pulled the saran back neatly and licked the bowl clean.
There were days that he surprised me, had us laughing and wondering wtf?! Like the time he…
- Jumped off our second story balcony to play with a neighbor kid. There was a dog body print in the bushes below.
- Chased my parents’ cat off the upstairs landing. The cat lept off the landing onto a table lamp causing a literal light explosion.
- Bound into the lake at the dog park. He tried desperately to bring us back the furthest buoy.
Rocky was a hundred-pound lap dog with personality plus. He had deep soulful eyes and what appeared to be a dog mask cloaking a human face.
A wild man talking back by day, and a lover and a cuddler by night.
I will forever cherish the memories of Mark, Mac, Rocky & me all lounging in bed together on weekend mornings. Hanging with my 3 boys brought me so much joy, the four of us relaxing – together and all touching is what he loved.
Rocky showed us true unconditional love.
He showed us how to love fiercely and with no regrets.
He was a powerful presence. He is, and will forever be, greatly missed.
So for now, I’m leaning into the pain. I want to fully feel it because in that pain lies the love. By allowing our hearts to crack open, the memories, the laughter, and the joy all bubble to the surface.
In grieving him I am honoring him, I am loving him, and I am saying goodbye.
My heart aches, I miss him so much. But I owe it to him, and to us, to step into the pain – to feel the love and to feel the loss.
Rocky will forever own a piece of our hearts. He was intricately woven into the fabric of our lives – he was our strength and our glue. He was truly a part of our formative foundation and he will forever remain a part of our world.
The unconditional love Rocky gave to us is inspiration to me to try a little harder to love fiercely and with no regrets every single day.
