The holidays are a good time to attend to our relationships. While many of us think of spending more time with family and friends, how much time do you spend deepening your relationship with your significant other?
1. Friendship is the foundation of a prosperous relationship. How well do you know your partner? If you can answer all of these, great! If not, now is the perfect time to find out:
What is their favorite holiday and what makes it special for them?
What was the most embarrassing moment in their childhood?
Which relative are they closest to and what do they admire about that person?
Find out these answers and more, while doing something active. Take a walk, do some relaxing yoga poses, or hit the gym together. See what else you can learn about each other that you didn’t know before!
2. Remember that the little things matter. Everyday actions are more powerful in enhancing relationships than one grand gesture. When you make the effort to ask their opinion or spend time together, it lets your partner know that you want more of them. So tonight, set aside a few minutes to reunite in the evening to discuss how the day went while you knock out some mundane tasks with your partner. Fold the laundry, do the dishes together, reorganize the pantry. Whatever else is on the to do list, do it together!
When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
3. Don’t forget to see the big picture. Relationships benefit greatly when partners have shared dreams and desires. Here are some questions to discuss with your partner about your aspirations and values in life:
What three places do we want to visit together?
If we won $100,000, what would we do with the money?
Choose a holiday. What’s the true meaning of this holiday for us? How did we celebrate it growing up in each of our families? What rituals are important for us to celebrate this holiday in our family?
Set a romantic mood for this conversation, paying attention to your senses. Dim the lights, and light some candles or build a fire. Put on some music you both enjoy. Sip something warm. Cuddle under a soft blanket.
Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
4. There is always hope to rekindle the flame. Even when the fire goes out of a relationship, even if there’s only a solitary ember left to burn, there is hope. Share these things with your partner to enhance your intimacy and build your flame:
What your partner brings to your life that wouldn’t be there without them
Your first impression of your partner
The point where you realized you were in love
Share this over hot apple cider, while cooking dinner together, or sharing a yummy dessert! Try one of these delicious dessert recipes – Pistachio Chocolate Bark or Flourless Almond Butter Cookies.
Research shows that on average, couples wait six years from the first signs of trouble to seek help for their relationship. If your relationship is struggling, don’t wait. We can provide you with a path for repairing, strengthening and creating resiliency in your relationship.