The start of a new year is filled with the promise of something new – something better.
We can all feel the excitement of it in the air.
365 days to be written by this new, best version of you. Lose weight…start a business…write a book. The possibilities are open and endless.
But by February our motivation is waning. And our excited anticipation has shifted to overwhelm and disappointment.
“I’ve tried everything – nothing works!”
“What’s wrong with me – why can’t I do this?”
“I’m done – I’m tired of trying.”
I’ve heard a version of all of these at some point my clients.
Years of goal setting, promise making and action taking only to quickly slide back down that slippery slope getting stuck in the cycle of “self-sabotage” and despair.
It’s exhausting.
But what if there was another way?
First consider this…
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What if there was actually a reason that you kept repeating the same patterns?
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What if this cycle was actually your very own perfectly crafted safety zone?
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What if there was a core part of you that was actually doing an amazing job?
Whaaaat???
Yes, there is actually a deep part of you that is protecting you from one of your greatest fears.
The possibility that you might make all the changes, take the action, dive into the big risks AND STILL COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE EXACTLY THE SAME.
What if you lose the weight, start the business, or write the book and still feel the way you feel right now?
You’ll be like turtle without her shell in a briar patch.
Totally exposed, open, vulnerable – out of excuses and in a lot of pain.
Sounds pretty awful right?! And the prospect of this feels so real and so much scarier than staying the same.
So what do you do? You know you can’t continue like this. You are tired of being stuck in the struggle, it’s infiltrated every area of your life. You want to move forward but you’re not sure how.
So you reverse engineer the process.
In order to do that, you first have to get crystal clear on what exactly it is that you want AND how your life will change once you have it.
A lot of us start with a generic, superficial want for example – weight loss. That can be a great focus, but mean a lot of different things. Define what it means to you. Then, take a step back and look at the big picture – how will you be different once you have it? What will you experience in life that you’re not experiencing now?
For example – I want to lose 20 lbs. Once I do I will be happier. I will talk more positively. I will go do more things – like travel. I will be in pictures. I will look at myself in the mirror. I will get a new job. I will laugh more and only wear clothes that I love. I will go on a date.
From this example, what is one action that could be taken right now to start living into that experience? Start a gratitude list. Limit negative talk to 3 times a day. Research a trip. Take a selfie. Make eye contact with self in the mirror. Revamp resume. Wear a love item – think accessory, piece of clothing, or lipstick. Start a profile on a dating site. Go to a MeetUp group.
The faster that you can get into action that hits on the bigger picture of what you want, the faster you will get to your goals. You will already be living into the experience that you want (the one that you inadvertently started protecting yourself from at some point along the way).
By taking one action daily to live into the experience you want, you sort of trick that part of you that is terrified that you will make all of these changes only for everything to stay the same. You’re actually proving to that part of you first that things will be different, and that this new way of being is safe and exactly what you want.
It takes courage to do this. Take a deep breath and be brave!
You will be surprised at how quickly things turn around.
In the comments below, I’d love to hear from you – what is one thing that you want and how will your life change once you have it?
You’ve got this.
P.S. The Make IT Happen Masterclass is a great way to get monthly coaching support (and to know you’re not alone) PLUS you have 24/7 access to some of my absolute favorite tools to set yourself up for success and turn your dreams into reality. Sign up here.