Our baby boy arrived at the end of January. It’s been an absolute whirlwind the past several weeks and my brain is just starting to feel like it’s working sort of like it’s supposed to again. There have been sleepless nights, tears and laughter…but most of all an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude.
Even when there are conflicting feelings cascading through my body, the intensity at which I feel love wins out.
Last night, our little peanut woke up at 3am. While that in itself wasn’t all that surprising, what was is that he felt really really warm. I immediately got the thermometer and quickly learned that he was on the high range of normal, teetering on the number that means fever (aka the last number I want to see).
I was worried and felt initially panicked (in all honesty this response is one I’ve come to know well over the past 6 weeks!).
But a strange thing happens, these fear based feelings have also been accompanied with a sense of complete calm and clarity.
Because of this, last night I was able to not only recognize that the room was hot and that I was really warm, but also come to the realization that he was probably way too hot and on the road to overheating. We cracked the bedroom window, changed him into some cooler sleep gear and waited to see what happened. It took maybe 15 minutes or so (which really felt like an eternity as I repeatedly checked his temperature) but he returned to his normal.
Phew!
I of course couldn’t fall back asleep. And I started thinking about this worry and fear paired with calm and clarity that I was getting to know so well (our first family outing and the night he slept for 6 consecutive hours are two other examples that spring to mind).
What I realized was that the underlying feeling was love. I love this little peanut so much that above all else, I just want him to be okay. In order for me to do all that is in my power to help him be okay, I have to have the heightened awareness that comes with fear and the problem solving that can only happen with a sense of calm.
So what does this have to do with you?
Fear is a messenger and when you can identify the message, the fear seems a little less scary and a lot more manageable. It becomes an emotion to embrace instead of avoid or run away from.
Choosing to coexist with fear allows for the calm and clarity to come. Energy is no longer wasted on avoiding the fear, it is instead attributed to connecting with the driving emotion or desire and responding to the underlying message.
This can be a profoundly powerful realization.
When you choose change you are choosing a new experience. You are choosing to step away from the familiar and outside of your comfort zone. You are choosing an experience that is likely intimately connected with fear.
Know that this is okay, it’s normal.
And know that you have the power to choose using fear as a tool to help you pave your way and navigate your life.
P.S. Just for fun here is a picture of our “One month old epic photo fail!!”
