Have you ever put yourself out there and had it not go so well? I have…lots of time, most recently on Monday.
I was “seen” and it stung a bit…at least at first. I felt totally blind sighted and a little violated.
Here’s what happened…
- I wrote an opinion article for The Plain Dealer. Yes!!!
- It was published on Cleveland.com. Yes!!!
- People said a lot of nasty stuff. No!!!
Yep, I get it – politics is risky business. Having an opinion and putting it out there – could go either way. But it truly never crossed my mind that people would get all bent out of shape over what I wrote.
The point of the article was simply figure out what you want, then start listening and engaging in real conversations.
Not overly idealistic. Not overly political. But wow, did people lose it in the comments section (I actually received an apology email from the Opinion Director).
People got nasty and actually totally validated the WHOLE POINT of the article.
There were people who commented on everything from my writing style to my credentials to my appearance (yep, someone commented that I needed to go tan – interestingly enough, I just talked about my snow white skin at Saturday’s workshop – I get it, I glow in the dark, leave me alone! lol).
Luckily several of the really nasty comments were deleted. Other commenters just went on their political rants. I guess that it’s easy to sit behind a computer, using a fake name, and be hateful.
Initially I was upset. Admittedly, I shed a few tears. And while I knew I should have STOPPED READING THE COMMENTS, it was also sort of addicting.
The more I read, the more I realized that the things that were being written were absolutely ridiculous.
At one point someone even posted that they were just “having a little fun.” All these commenters seemed to know each other. It was like this crew of people who hop online each night to spew nastiness and hate.
This is exactly the problem.
I learned that there are people out there lurking, waiting to attack. These people will make things personal and they will try to tear you down.
They would never EVER say out loud what they write. At least not to the persons face.
Sure, communication is complex but one of the best ways to become a communication ninja is to listen more than you talk and to use your voice (written or spoken) thoughtfully.
Interestingly enough, the comment section kept the article active in the discussion section online and it was shared 122 times (hopefully by people who connected with the point).
This is not my first rodeo – putting myself out there and it not going super smoothly… although the first one in such a public forum.
And it won’t be my last.
That’s the thing with being seen, having opinions, doing what you feel is right and putting yourself out there – people will judge, they will have something to say.
And you might want to run and hide (I did). You might feel like you were kicked in the teeth (I did). You might feel uncomfortable knowing that people, who don’t even know you, dislike you (I did).
But you know what?! Screw ’em. Let’s be real.
People acting like jerks – it’s survivable.
YOU ARE MEANT TO SHINE!
So get out there and step into your spotlight. Be you. Own it.
And if you get some haters – know that just means people are paying attention.
Expect the drama and then do what feels right (as long as it also does no harm) anyway!
Now go, be seen as your beautiful, brilliant self! And if you have a story to share about being seen or want some extra ideas for boosting confidence I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.
Cheers to you!
Emily xox
P.S. Dying to read what all the fuss was about – check it out here.