Have the hard conversations

communicationIf you want to be happy, communication is key.

Seriously – you have to learn to talk about it.

Yet so many people avoid having the hard conversations.

Recently I was talking with someone about a hard conversation that needs to happen. An important relationship is at stake yet neither side wants to talk about it.

Talking about hurt feelings, unmet expectations and setting boundaries often feels really really uncomfortable.  But it doesn’t have to.

Learning to express yourself confidently, clearly and concisely will allow you to have the hard conversations and then move on.

I have witnessed time and time again that people would rather be unhappy then have a hard conversation. However, when you avoid having the hard conversations a wall begins to build as resentment grows.  You’re essentially sitting on a ticking time bomb.

If you don’t handle it you will get to a point of no return. Relationships will be damaged beyond repair.

Yes, there is also a risk that in having a hard conversation the relationship might be lost anyway, but at least you’re giving it a fighting chance.

The key to these conversations is to keep them short and sweet.

  1. Identify the issue – what is not working?
  2. Offer a solution – what is that you want?
  3. Appreciate and acknowledge the open and honest conversation.
  4. Resolve it – confirm out loud to make sure everyone is on the same page.
  5. Move on – know that it’s done and don’t keep talking about it.

It is okay to say no and to set boundaries. It is okay to be assertive with your words and your tone.

You are responsible only for what you say and how you say it – not for how someone else perceives it.

And remember – life is not all black and white…it’s full of gray.

Having the hard conversations is about finding the gray.

Go ahead and have the conversation. Odds are, you’ll be happier that you did!

Emily

P.S. If you want more help setting boundaries, asserting yourself and laying the foundation for honest and open communication in your relationships – click here to schedule a “Hard Conversation Strategy Session.”